Chuck Norris Jokes

Chuck Norris drove a semi-truck, picked up a hooker, had sex with her in the semi and got cum on the seat and it is now known as Optimus Prime.

Chuck Norris can believe its not butter.

If at first you don't succeed your not Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't go hunting because hunting implies failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

If Chuck Norris was a women he wouldn't have a period, he'd have an exclamation point.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear a watch he decides what time it is.

Giraffes were made when Chuck Norris uppercutted a horse.

Chuck Norris died 10 years ago, but the Grim Reaper hasn't got the courage to tell him yet.

Chuck Norris doesn't teabag people he potatoe sacks them.

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.

Geico saved money by switching to Chuch Norris.

Chuch Norris jumps in the pool, but he doesn't get wet. The water gets Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books he just stares them down until he gets the information he needs.

Santa Clause DID exist...until he forgot to get Chuck Norris a present.

Chuck Norris can make a parapeligic run for his life.

They once made a toilet paper brand called Chuck Norris, but it was a complete failure because Chuck Norris doesn't take shit from anyone.

Kids piss their name in snow, Chuck Norris pisses his name in cement.

When Chuck Norris was born the only one cying was the doctor, because no one spanks Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg.

Chuck Norris invented every color on the color spectrum, except for pink, that was Tom Cruise.

Jesus can walk on water, Chuck Norris can swim through land.

Chuck Norris's computer doesn't have an enter key because he'll enter when ever the hell he feels like it.

Google asks Chuck Norris for information.

Chuck Norris's computer doesn't have a control key because Chuck Norris is always in control.

A meteorite didn't kill dinosaurs, Chuck Norris killed dinosaurs.